My Mom and Stepdad's Trip to Indiana

Well, I have gotten behind on doing Blog entries, so I am doing two at once tonight. My Mom and Stepdad went to visit Lauren and my brother Glenn from Saturday, February 28th through Monday, March 2nd. Mom said Lauren slept a lot, but they all watched "Stardust" together ....one of her favorite movies. She ate a little Olive Garden.....her favorite food. As sick as she is (we don't know how she does it), but she loves their soup and salad. She eats only a few bites of it these days though.

On Sunday, Lauren asked my Mom if she was afraid to die. My Mom said 'No.' She asked Lauren what it was that she was afraid of. Lauren told her that she wanted to know what would happen at the very instant that she dies. Would she be all alone......all by herself? How soon would it be before she got to see anybody? My Mom tried to alleviate her fears. She told Lauren that she felt that Jesus himself would probably come and meet her because he will know how long she has suffered and he would recognize her because of the cross she has on her body, similar to the cross he hung upon. (From her numerous surgeries, Lauren has a large cross carved across her chest and stomach.) My Mom and Stepdad also told her of the passing of two of my Stepdad's family members, ie. his father and a 4-year old child who would have been his Aunt. Both reassuring stories. They did what they could to diminish her fears and give her hope.

That night, while playing a game of Phase 10 with everyone, Lauren suddenly felt very badly and layed her head down on the diningroom table. My Mom said that she said "It hurts so bad Dad, it hurts so bad...its awful, just awful." All my brother could say was 'I'm so sorry, Buggy I'm so sorry.' She felt so bad that she couldn't lift her head up. It just siezed her that quickly, incredible breakthrough pain. They hit her bolus repeatedly to get more Dilaudid pumped into her system. Lauren has worn a Dilaudid pump 24 hours a day since August 2008. She receives 20 ml. every hour with 15 ml. expressed each time she hits the bolus. These are high doses. But on this night, it wasn't working. A hospice nurse was called in. She got there within the hour and increased her hourly dose to 30 ml. Lauren was put to bed and my Mom and Stepdad went back to their hotel around midnight.

The next day (Monday), my Mom and Stepdad went to visit with Lauren before they left for home in Illinois. Lauren was pretty perky and visited with them. The increased Dilaudid was working. Although before they left she became nauseas and very tired and had to lay down. She kept telling my Mom how sorry she was to have to lay down while company was there.

She is such a trooper. She tries to visit and play games to the best of her ability. She does it for herself, but I think she does it just as much for us.